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Why do I feel so unhappy?

April 8, 2019


The pressure to be "Happy"


Feeling unhappy can be a common experience for us all.  Finding the reason for these feelings can be difficult.  You may believe that your life is "ok" or even better than "ok"; but still, you may not be able to appreciate it, or feel happy about it.


Is it about me?


An important question to ask when feeling unhappy is: "Is this feeling due to something happening inside of me, or outside of me?" 


Something "outside" of you relates to circumstances and events, i.e., where your unhappy feelings are a consequence of "external factors" such as changes in your living situation; an unfulfilling job; an increase in stress levels; or a complex issue you face that seems to have no solution. 


Something "inside" of you more often relates to internal thought processes or perspectives, i.e.,  you may not be able to find any external factors directly affecting your emotions, but you continue to experience persistent feelings of unhappiness with no clear explanation.


Start by looking backwards


When trying to resolve feelings of unhappiness, it can be useful to start by looking at past events and experiences, and try to identify when and where you believe the unhappiness began.  This exercise can help you look more objectively at how you got to this place, and, what experiences, losses, or gains may have contributed to these types of feelings. 


Also, you may want to look back and identify a time when you last remember actually being "happy", and then examine what was going on at that time in some detail, in order to get some "clues" as to what has changed now.


Seek help


If you find it difficult to sort through these questions and answers on your own, then Counselling or Psychotherapy can be a good opportunity for you.  A trained Counsellor can work with you to better understand what is happening currently, as well as looking at past experiences that have impacted your feelings of well-being.  A Counsellor can also help you to identify if your unhappiness is related to external circumstances and situations (mainly), or if there is something unresolved within you that you "carry" from situation to situation that is impacting your feelings of satisfaction in life.


Contact Dirk Hansen for Counselling and Psychotherapy in Leamington Spa, Warwickshire


If you would like to book a session with me to understand your situation and your needs better, then feel free to contact me.  I will seek to gather information and offer a perspective that hopefully will give you some clarity and a positive way forward.  For an appointment click here.



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Contact Me - Please feel free to send me a message with any questions you may have in the box below or email me at: and I will reply as soon as possible. 

Coronavirus Note: Currently, I can only offer counselling/psychotherapy by Telephone and/or Skype, due to government guidance.

16 HamiltonTerrace

Holly Walk

Office Four

Leamington Spa, CV32 4LY

​​Tel: 07775 742349


Dirk Hanen Counselling Premises
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