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How can I stop Arguing with my Partner?

Relationship Conflicts

Getting along with a partner or significant other can be difficult at times, especially if you are living in close proximity to one another. In fact, it is not unusual to realize that your respective needs conflict with each other, or that you have differences in opinion about a variety of things, including basic lifestyle issues.

If you find it hard to get through a day without arguing, then it's important to look at your approach to communication with each other, as well as looking at your underlying expectations for the relationship - and for relationships in general. Everyone has expectations for how life should be, including for how relationships should be. As an Individual, your likes and dislikes; your tastes; points of view; interests; etc. may work well for you when living alone, or being single. However, when you enter a close and intimate relationship, all of a sudden you can find that your view is not the only view, and that the things you feel strongly about may not be shared so strongly by your partner.

Communication Skills for Relationships Learning how to accept differences and negotiate together is a key factor for success in modern day relationships. There are simple and useful communication techniques you can learn in order to make things go more smoothly.

One of these techniques is the use of "I" statements. This is a simple technique (but not always easy to do!) that involves being careful what words you use when discussing challenging subjects. For example, to avoid escalating emotions it is good to start your sentences with "I" instead of "You". This technique can be used to defuse tension and give you the opportunity to express how you feel rather than focus on criticizing each other.

Keeping the attention on how you feel about, or view a situation - and owning those reactions, can help reduce the tension when discussing differences. The outcome will often be much more productive and satisfying than if you are constantly attacking each other's views or behaviours.

Help for Relationships Contact Dirk Hansen for Counselling if you are interested in getting further support for relationship issues. You may also want to speak confidentially about your relationship and your expectations or concerns.

Contact Me - Please feel free to send me a message with any questions you may have in the box below or email me at: and I will reply as soon as possible. 

Coronavirus: I am providing counselling/psychotherapy flexibly by Face to Face, Telephone and/or Skype, observing government guidance and practising social distancing.

16 HamiltonTerrace

Holly Walk

Office Four

Leamington Spa, CV32 4LY

​​Tel: 07775 742349


Dirk Hanen Counselling Premises
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